micah's birthday

today is my daughter's third bithday. i can't believe she's such a big girl. and i can't believe i'm so tired.

give the photo a click for some flickr fun.

on the outside looking in

have you ever watched a show or movie and really related to a character but known that as the "audience" you're supposed to be relating to the other character?

just now i was watching a rerun of er (they're impossible to miss after all) and these 2 girls are roommates. one couldn't sleep and she was up well before her alarm just staring at different things in her bedroom until it went off at 7 am. she goes out into the main area of the apartment and her roommate is standing there doing the dishes. now as an insomniac, i know this chick must be cranky. roommate says hi, how'd you sleep? better than last night night? blah, blah, blah and she's only getting 1 word answers but she keeps going. should i make you breakfast? i could blah, blah, blah... and i think as the audience, we're supposed to sympathize with both. one is cranky and the other is being so nice and considerate so really it shouldn't annoy the cranky one but within minutes the cranky one has declared that she needs her space and asks the nice friend to start looking for her own place.

i can't live with ANYONE. even my daughter gets on my nerves. she never stops talking. just stop talking. now. stop it. before my brain impoldes. i'll tell her, honey, mommy can't listen anymore. mommy's ears are tired and my brain hurts. why, mommy? you ears hurt? my ears hurt too, mommy. they got boo-boos. can i have a bandain (bandaid) for dem?

but roommates, aargghh... my oldest friend - since we were six actually - and i lived together for one year and after the day i moved out, we didn't speak for two years. in fact, it was my pregnancy that brought us back together.

my boyfriend. ugh. i could list so many things, so i won't.

i just need a lot of space and i tire of people so easily. in fact, to date, i can think of ONE person i never tired of. my friend becca. i called her qua (as in ray-bec-qua) and she called me juice. i could hang out with her nonstop for weeks and she the same and it never got old and we never fought and we never needed our own space. the other cool thing is that in many friendships there's a leader and a follower but we never did that. one day one of would sort of take charge and another day the other would. we were so equal.

we actually knew each other for YEARS before even speaking to each other because we were sure we would hate one another. the moment we actually *met* - that was it. we would just hang out, you know. i'd write, she'd draw or paint. we'd smoke cigarettes and laugh and laugh. i knew her only 2 days when she came with me to get my nipple pierced. that is a PERSONAL experience people! and what did she do? she offered to take off her shirt too so that i'd feel more comfortable. i said sure and before i knew it the girl was topless. she'd taken off her bra, too. that's friendship, people.

but then i moved to spain and then new york and then spain again and then back to new york for good and sometime last year, we just completely lost touch and now her phone number belongs to someone else. and i yearn for a relationship like that again.

i loved becca. i think i always will.

of pet peeves and confessions

ordinary boy and i were walking into circuit city this past weekend when he says to me (in a very serious tone) - i have a confession to make. wiggly lines, wiggly lines, wiggly lines - enter my thoughts -

1. we had both just been complaining about people who park at the curb instead of in a spot. this particular person was in a mini-van and had parked right in front of the ramp for wheelchairs and shopping carts in front of trader joe's. (just after i glared at the driver, a tj's associate came out and told him to move.) so i'm thinking, what you parked your environmentally unfriendly but oh so lovely and luxurious big ass suv by a curb or something - so what? my soapboxes aren't THAT big!

2. well, he didn't cheat on me... i mean, you don't tell someone you're cheating while walking into a circuit city on a sunday afternoon...

3. ?????????????????????????

so, finally, i've convinced him to just spit it the fuck out! it's been 5 minutes or so by now. so he says, "this young girl just walked by and she wasn't wearing a bra and you could see her nipples, and her tits were large and they were bouncing about but in a good way and i just stared and stared!"

take the to a catholic priest, young man, because unless she's still standing next to us and i can partake of her beautiful breasts as well, i don't give a shit!

ps - lucky me though that i'm with a guy who thinks this deserves an inner guilt trip and a public confession! and lucky him i'm a sex fiend and not at all jealous of strangers.

5 questions

the questions for eden

1. how were you introduced to paganism/witchcraft? (& excuse my naivete if the way I worded that was in any way offensive)

2. what are your favorite and least favorite genres to read? to write? and why, of course?

3. okay - i have to ask ONE mother question (but it's a 2-parter, i'm such a cheat.) are you the only adopted child and at what age did you begin to notice her bipolar behavior and at what age did you begin to understand "bipolar"?

4. what's baby z's full name and how did you two come up with it?

5. this one i ripped from other people's interviews but i love the question and i think you'll have a creative answer for it. you are a superhero. choose 3 superpowers, a costume and a theme song.

HAVE FUN!!

party time

micah went to her friend meghan's (yes it does get confusing) third birthday party today and had a blast! she had an ice pop and candy from the pinata and then this ginormous lollipop!

good times, people, good times.

my skeleton

so i have bad credit.

gasp! the horror!

no, really, i do though. seriously bad. i can't even get a cell phone on my own, bad. milan wants me to fix it so desperately that he throws it into every.single. conversation.

this morning, he sent me this email at work:

"I was just thinking- you said you wanted to go back to school some day -
well the first step is to get your credit fixed cause you will have to take
out a student loan --- jackass"

and he's been known to say things like, "wow, that's a nice house. you know, you should really fix your credit so you can get a house someday."

or "mmm... bagels. have you fixed your credit yet?"

or "can you give micah a bath? and don't forget to fix your credit!"

all grown up

i wet my daughter's hair and forced it into pigtails this morning. i couldn't believe it worked!!

she'll be 3 in 2 weeks, certainly we're ready for a hair-do, right? of course, by the time we got out the door (less than 5 minutes later), her hair had already started curling out of the pigtails...

milan is cracking up. he thinks she looks even more like me now. hmm... why is that funny??

5 questions, answered

rachel over at wilder days was so kind as to include me in this meme of sorts. the idea is someone asks you five questions and you post the answers on your blog then do the same for 5 people who comment on your blog asking to be interviewed.

okay, on to the questions:

1. you try out for the amazing race. who's on your team with you? why?

my sister, katie. we need a "bonding experience" because we're not as close as i'd like, she's tough as nails and we're polar opposites which in TAR is a good thing because whatever i couldn't handle, she could and vice-versa.

2. if you had a chance to buy a house, what would you absolutely have to have for it to be your dream house?

my "dream" house would be on the side of a mountain in the south of spain near marbella overlooking the water. i even have the spot all picked out. but a small luxury i'd like in the house i buy would be a large yard (more than an acre) with a wooded area.

3. does your family know about your blog? why or why not?

i have 2 blogs. micah luki and this one. i started micah luki as a way for my family to read about my daughter and also as a sort of e-baby book for her so as i got more hooked on blogging i decided i wanted my own space. i don't tell them about this blog because i don't feel like i can be myself with my family.

4. recommend one blog to me that's not on my current reading list. why do you read it?

i recommend 63 days to everyone. it's a MUST READ. such an eye opener. but one of my faves is so anyway... i found it by pressing the blogger next blog button soon after i created my first blog and i just find her to be so interesting. she's also funny as hell!

5. do you want/plan to have more children? what about being a parent has surprised you?

i'm not planning on any kids right now. think i'll get married first this time! :) but i would definitely love to have 3 or 4 more. i want a BIG family. what surprised me about becoming a parent has been my capacity to love and be loved unconditionally and how easy and natural it is.

so, there you have it. if anyone would like me to interview them, please leave a comment!


The Official Interview Game Rules

1. If you want to participate, leave a comment saying "interview me."

2. I will respond by asking you five questions - each person's will be different.

3. You will update your journal/blog with the answers to the questions.

4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.

5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

i usually only write phone numbers on the back of envelopes

milan always leaves things out. many of them inappropriate for micah. such as coins, gum, candy, medicine, etc... this is an actual letter i wrote him one night (he was at practice and wouldn't be home until 1 or 2 am) when i came home to find micah sucking on a Ricola throat lozenge while holding 2 loose advil in her hand.

hee - hee. i was dead serious too until i wrote the last part. that made me laugh so i added an arrow and wrote "love, meg" on the other side.