Friday, December 30, 2005


This is Micah's "Aunt Favorite"; my cousin, Tracy, in August of this year. She had come back from the treatment center in Arizona where she'd been since May to enjoy the summer with her family. She was feeling better in August than she had been in at least 6 months and she asked me if I had ever thought she was going to die. I answered NO without hesitation. This was the turn-around we had been praying for.

Now, in hind sight, I'm sorry she spent so long in that treatment center. She was there instead of with her family from May to August. She was only home for 2 weeks before she went back. Then she came home just before Halloween and was home for 5 weeks trying to find a way to draw blood so that Envita (the treatment center) could make more antibodies for her. She was so weak that they couldn't just draw it. Finally, just before Thanksgiving, her husband found a way and she was rushed back to Arizona on November 29th. By December 4th, she was so weak that they had to hire Hospice to airlift her home.

My cousin had been fighting cancer since she was first diagnosed in May of 2000. In April, she had found a lump. It was the second lump she had found. The first was in the summer of 1998 and when the results came back, her doctors neglected to tell her that they had found signs of cancer in the other breast. It grew undetected for 2 years.

I think that's part of why I feel so cheated.

I'm hoping to scan in some healthy photos of her to post.

I miss you, Trace.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

she's better off now

Monday, December 19th, my cousin, my daughter's "Aunt Favorite", Tracy Ann passed away at 4:30 pm. She had been fighting to breathe for the past week. It's actually easier now on all of us. It was so difficult to watch this vibrant, beautiful woman suffer. She was frail, emaciated and pale.

My cousin was very devout in her religion and if her beliefs are right, then I know she is in Heaven right now watching us and looking after us. I also know she has brought new vibrancy to Heaven and there with her Aunt and Grandmother (who both also died of Breast Cancer) she is laughing and living it up.

She's better off now.

I will be posting more, including photos in the next few days and then I will be on hiatus.