Saturday, August 06, 2005


i was speaking with a family member yesterday about my cousin. my cousin has, in many ways, been VERY good to me and yet often times is not at all good to me.

but my family member and i were talking about how when she's mean to us, we feel like we don't have the right to complain or speak up or be hurt because let's face it; we're healthy and she's not. it's as though being sick (chronically ill, deathbed ill) has warranted her to behave however she wants. it's not that her behavior has really changed, but i now feel powerless to defend afainst it.

before, when she would insult or belittle me or my daughter, i would speak up or maybe i would just go home and keep some distance for awhile. but how can i do that now? that would be so selfish!

i feel torn. torn between doing what's best for me and my daughter and spending what time i left with someone i love. unfortunately, the two do not often link up.