Thursday, March 17, 2005

i found my calling - horror movie star

ordinary boy and i had the mother of all fights tuesday night. sometimes i just get so overwhelmed. and isn't he in this with me to support me and help me and be my partner? on days like tuesday, i can feel myself getting overwhelmed; can feel the anger and frustrating rising inside. usually, by the time i expolde, i've *almost* exploded numerous times but have been able to take that deep breath that gets oxygen to my brain in time for me to think - hey! - cool it before you do something stupid like yell or throw something.

not tuesday. tuesday was different.

o. boy and i work together which can be difficult and late in the afternoon he was grating on my last nerve. but when i got home, i tried, as i always try, to separate *work* ordinary boy from *home* ordinary boy. i guess i wasn't successful because the first mildly annoying thing he did (which was to place the food we were going to cook for dinner on top of the paint cans that are still sitting on the counter b/c he has *touch-ups* he still wants to do) already required me to breathe deep.

i really didn't feel it rising up inside me though. the baby was whining, but what else is new? i had been home maybe a half an hour when i knocked over these 2 metal chairs that are in the kitchen because he still hasn't moved them into the garage which knocked over the trash which knocked over the paper bag we were using for *paper* trash which he had put left-over bread crumbs and other food waste into which spilled all over the floor and the whole reason i was backing up was because the baby was whining at me and trying to grab hold of my pants and i didn't want to erupt on her so i was trying to ignore the whining and that's when i caused all this and that's when it happened...


i screamed. i screamed so high and loud that jamie lee curtis would've been proud.

the baby just stared at me. o.boy said, "why would you even do that? that's just crazy."